The TolerationBank
There are 1000 tolerations below, organized into 24 categories. The categories are listed in alphabetical order. This list was compiled by 20 coaches at Coach University. Credits located at the end of this page.

The Categories
Addictions/Habits
Automobile
Body/Health
Children
Clothing
Clutter
Constraints/Unmet Needs
Co-workers/Customers/Employees
Delay/Avoidance/Procrastination
Environment/Climate/Location
Equipment/Technology
Family
Feelings/Fears/Stress/AttitudeFriends/Neighbors
Furntisings
Home-Inside
Home-Outside
Miscellaneous
Money/Income
Pets
Possessions
Professional Vendors/Suppiers
Relationships/Interactions
Spouse/Significant Other
Work/Career

The Tolerations

Addictions/Habits
Being impulsive with clothes shopping.
My frequent over consumption of alcohol.
My inability to completely relinquish smoking.
Having a sugar addiction.
Not being able to stop my craving for Coke.
Eating too much.
Using curse words quite too often.
Shopping too often for items I enjoy, but do not need.
Often bingeing on salty foods.
My addiction to chocolate.
Eating too much junk food.
Wasting time reading computer newsgroups.
My compulsion to be buzzed at social encounters.
Chewing my fingernails to the quick.
My obsession with food.
Spending too much time playing computer games.
My propensity to be an "information gatherer".
Cracking my knuckles.
The habit I have of checking my e-mails too often.
Checking out instead of dealing with things (taking a nap to avoid).
Biting the inside of my cheeks when I am nervous.
My procrastination at returning phone calls.
Procrastinating on big projects and having to pull all-nighters to complete them.
Keeping stuff instead of getting rid of it.
Working late into the afternoon and then ending up snacking.
Carrying too much junk in my purse.
Keeping too many old files.
Picking my nose.
My sloppy writing that I cannot read later.
Tending to lecture people about how to live their lives.
Lying for no reason.
Saying yes when I should be saying no.
My bad habit of not putting things away as soon as I finish with them.
Living with a constant list.
The habit of fantasizing rather than being with what is.
Continuing to stay up later than I should, and so feeling tired.
The habit of picking at hairs on my face.
My lack of willpower to eliminate coffee from my diet.
Dwelling in judgmental thinking too often.
Hating the way animals are "processed" for food, and yet not being able to give up eating beef.
 
 
Automobile
A mysterious squeak on the left underside of my new car.
Not having a key for the T-tops of the car.
A van that has over 100,000 miles and may die any day now.
My new car drifting to the left when I drive it.
A scratch down the side of my car.
The car's central locking, which sometimes spontaneously unlocks itself.
My car dies with air-conditioner on.
The overhead lightbulb being burnt out in the car.
Having no CD player in my car.
A small rusty spot on the car door.
A car that is not big enough for our family.
A broken sun visor in my car.
The air-conditioner in my car going from hot to cold to hot.
A chip in the windshield of my car.
A car that handles poorly.
The chocolate stains on my car seat.
My headlights being aimed too high…people keep flicking their lights at me.
A gas gauge on my car that works whimsically.
A bent antenna.
The car not having a full sized spare tire.
The broken door handle on car door.
My car has limited trunk space.
The back bumper needing to be replaced.
My car getting very low miles per gallon.
Putting gas in my car...I am always spilling the gas on myself.
My rear window defroster not working.
The cigarette lighter in my car doesn't work so I can't plug in the mobile phone.
My car leaks fluids on the garage floor.
Not having a garage for my car.
The squeaky brakes on my car - even after I just paid to have them fixed.
The ceiling liner in my car is hanging down.
Spending more money on my car than the car is worth and it's still not right.
Pigeons droppings on my car.
Both of our family vehicles being in the shop at the same time.
My oil change being 2100 miles overdue.
The stuff that rolls around in the trunk of my car every time I take a corner.
Driving a car with a standard shift.
A dent in the door of my brand new car.
Half eaten food and crumbs all over car.
Having a car that I'm embarrassed to drive.
 
 
Body/Health
My hair having no body and not being able to find a style I like.
Having short stubby nails, not polished, or groomed.
Having warts on my fingers.
A cosmetic problem that I could correct with $1,000.
Varicose veins on my legs.
Hair growing out of my ears.
Having dry, cracked skin on my feet.
My skin needing more attention.
Stress incontinence.
My wisdom teeth needing to come out.
My unsightly stretch marks from 3 pregnancies.
Faint sensitivity to hot and cold on one tooth.
Poor flexibility from not stretching.
Having cellulite on my rear-end.
A recently chipped tooth that worries my tongue all the time.
A wart on my foot that is getting bigger every day.
Pain in my knee when I climb stairs.
My flabby body.
My hair going gray.
Weak abdominal muscles.
My thighs rubbing together when I walk.
My stomach bulging and my waist being too thick.
Needing bifocals for the first time in my life.
A gap between two teeth where food gets stuck.
Still having a pot belly no matter how many sit-ups I do.
Carrying around an extra 20 pounds.
Having a double chin.
Having lousy posture.
My body not being as energetic as I'd like.
A cough that won't go away.
Carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists for over a year now.
Problems with my sexual functioning that are probably medical.
Working out harder and harder just to maintain the fitness level I did nothing for at age 30.
Having lower back problems from sitting in a non-ergonomic chair all day.
Violent, monthly migraine headaches.
Not being nearly as fit as I want to be.
Not drinking enough (if any) water daily.
Not being able to see my clock/radio without my glasses.
Mid-afternoon fatigue that breaks my momentum.
Not being able to read as well as I used to be able to (my arms are getting
too short).


Children
My daughter not moving out of the house with her husband.
The slowness of my son in potty training. AAARRRGGGHHH
Two teenagers who think their daddy and I are "rich" and that the money comes from a bottomless pit.
My children complaining when I ask them for help.
The kids not consistently completing their chores.
My son coloring on my desk.
Allowing my children to manipulate me with guilt.
Not dealing with my child directly about his weight problem.
A son-in-law who has to spend $30 weekly at the game store.
Both my teenagers smoking although they grew up in a smoke free home.
Children who only like to eat macaroni and cheese for dinner.
My children leaving their toys wherever they last played with them rather than putting them away.
My daughter's not finishing college or even finding a steady job.
My son's unwillingness to do better at school.
My 15-year old son's first speeding ticket.
My kids coming into my bathroom without knocking.
Correcting my kids about the same things 5000 times with just enough improvement to keep me trying.
Teenagers who feel they are the center of the universe.
The lack of a place to put my child during the day while I work.
My son talking to his girlfriend every night for hours.
My girls taking my hairbrush and it never being around when I am doing my hair.
My daughter's car which keeps breaking down, and she not being responsible enough to pay for the repairs.
The constant bickering between my kids.
Teenagers who love to eat and eat and eat and eat.
My 5 year old not hearing me but nodding yes anyway.
The public school not accommodating my son's learning differences.
My daughter not getting up in the mornings without a fight.
Having to baby-sit for my stepdaughter's kids.
My son spending his money on frivolous things instead of saving his money.
My unemployed son sleeping until noon every day.
My college daughter only calling when she needs support or money.
Parenting adult children.
Teenagers who do not bother to call home when late.
Rocks in the kids' pockets.
My children dilly-dallying in the morning when I am trying to get out the door quickly.
Teenagers who come alive at 11pm and stay up all night and sleep all day.
My daughter taking my make-up.
My daughter's atrocious taste in clothes.
The mess the kids make when my husband is "baby-sitting."
My teenage daughter being critical and moody.


Clothing
Ten pairs of gloves with no matches in sight.
My favorite bracelet has a broken clasp.
Bathrobe sleeves so long, they get wet while doing dishes and drag through food.
Not having stylish, waterproof winter boots.
Shoes that pinch my toes.
Clothes in my closet I'll never wear again.
My bra being too tight.
The hem on my best work suit coming down.
Having only one pair of jeans that fits.
My clothes not all being perfectly pressed and mended.
Many of my shoes needing re-heeling and re-soling.
Dry cleaned clothes smelling like kerosene.
Long sleeved shirts that are a little too short in arm length.
Not being able to remove red clay stains from the socks I wear hiking.
Shoes that smell bad.
The elastic in my pants wearing out too soon.
Wearing worn out running shoes 'til I can afford new ones.
My best-fitting jeans being a tad too short.
Socks that creep down into my shoes.
Not owning a nice dress suit.
Shoes that do not feel comfortable.
Panty lines.
Having everything I own being either black or navy blue.
Missing buttons, ripped seams, stains on clothing.
Not knowing how to accessorize well.
Shirt collars that are too tight.
Bra straps that continuously fall down.
Wearing ties.
My best dress shirt having a stain from a leaking fountain pen.
Not being able to wear "business casual" clothing to work.
Summer and winter clothing both being in the same closet.
Worn out tennis shoes.
Having an incomplete wardrobe.
Wearing pantyhose, especially the control top ones.
My walking shoes hurt after three blocks.
Having to look through the dryer for clean clothes.
Having a frumpy wardrobe.
The large pile of clothes to be mended, ironed, or hemmed.
Clothes that don't fit and taking up too much space in the closet.
No backs for earrings.


Clutter
A junk drawer that catches everything in the house.
Filing cabinets that are overstuffed, unorganized and cluttered.
Storage shed that is so full you can't get into it.
Not having those lovely plastic organizers for my Christmas decorations, just
a disorganized mess in my most used closet.
The kids and my husband's papers and games that are all over the dining room table.
Unread magazines piling up.
Books stacked in the downstairs shower.
A pile of unorganized business cards.
Wet towels that get thrown into the hamper and remain there for over a week.
All the stuff (papers, files, folders, booklets) in the corner of my office
which needs to be put in a new filing cabinet or on new shelves.
Having no bookends for the books on my desk and having them always falling over.
Outdated professional books taking up valuable space on crowded bookshelves.
Too many electric appliances on my kitchen counters.
Unorganized makeup drawers.
A garage so full of stuff I can hardly move around in it.
Having way too many books, and by holding on to them all using up space that needs to be opened up.
My guestroom closet being filled to overflowing with stuff, some of which
surely could be passed on.
A messy house, because there are more important things than cleaning.
Piles and piles of junk accumulating on or around my desk.
A hall closet that is stuffed with things.
Four boxes of unfiled papers…do I still need them?
Shoes everywhere, taking up all the floor space in closets, under beds, etc., collecting dust.
My 5-year-old leaving his clothes wherever he happens to take them off.
The McDonald's toys that keep reproducing or something.
An office so messy that I have to step over things to enter.
Sports geared piled in the car, garage, bedroom.
A dining room table that gets used for everything but dining.
CDs everywhere - not in cases.
A stack of unread mail that just seems to keep growing.
The stack of old newspapers two feet high in the living room.
Moving junk from room to room instead of putting it away properly.
My husband's hunting stuff in all of the closets instead of just one.
The pile of magazines my husband keeps by the side of the bed.
A desk drawer full of stuff that is not work-related.
Old useless computer disks, cords and manuals cluttering up drawers and shelves.
Overflowing recipe box.
Too much paper in my life…it could be so much simpler.
Junk piled on top of the refrigerator.
My buried in-basket.
Stepping over bikes, toys and balls every time I go through the garage.


Constraints/Unmet Needs
Not having at least six months of reserve.
Not having enough money to invest.
Not having enough time with my wife.
Not having enough money to help my mother financially.
Not having a financial plan for my retirement.
Lack of time to spend with my friends just being friends.
My lack of physical and mental energy.
Not being able to say no when people ask me to do things.
Not knowing what direction I'm moving in and where I'm going with my life.
Not having a life plan that seems do-able.
Not putting enough money in our IRAs.
Not having enough money to buy what I want or do the things that I want to do in my life.
Not saving for my son's college education.
Not spending enough time in the garden.
A sense of constraint about money because my husband handles the finances and I never know what we have.
Not having a perfect system for jotting down ideas
Not believing that my boyfriend finds me physically attractive.
Giving up when things get a little difficult.
Underlearning and over working.
Unsolicited marketing direct mail sent to me.
Phone interruptions when I am trying to work.
Unsolicited email messages sent through my current email provider.
Still lone-ranging on the domestic scene: I am the household management team.
Having more to do every day than I ever get done.
Not having enough time to read all the nice books I have.
Insufficient time for spontaneous activities
Not getting enough sleep.
Overplanning most days.
Unrealistic monthly deadlines.
Not having enough time to "hang out" with life.
Having too much paperwork for me to comfortably handle.
Running after other people in my quest for affection.
The lack of support from my local professional group.
My lack of a creative outlet.
Not getting enough hugs.
Not having a group of 5 close male friends that live in my town.
Not having children.
A lack of friends/community
Not having enough sex.
Not having enough time off of work.


Co-workers/Customers/Employees
Not being able to find qualified, quality workers to fill my open positions.
Colleagues who don't return phone calls.
Clients who don't always show up for their sessions.
The negative attitudes of people with whom I work.
The employee in the cubicle next to me talking loudly ALL DAY.
The victim perspective of a coworker.
A lack of communication with my contact at one account.
A cancellation policy designated by my customer which I feel is unfairly weighted in his favor.
Subordinates that over-promise and under-deliver.
Prospective clients who don't give me closure that they have chosen not to use a coach.
A co-worker who has more tolerations than I do and spends all day talking about them.
A co-worker often criticizes me for taking initiative.
Not having regular contact with colleagues in my profession.
A coworker who does not return email.
A co-worker who uses far too much perfume.
Clients who sometimes take unreasonable advantage of my generosity.
Coworker using the Lord's name in vain and my saying nothing.
A coworker who is always late and expects me to cover for her.
Some customers bounce checks.
An office mate that talks to her husband on the phone in Spanish.
Clients who do not refer me to other possible clients.
Having so many people calling for appointments that are scattered throughout my days.
Customers waiting until the last minute to place orders.
Clients who overstay their appointments.
Clients who cancel their appointments at the last minute.
People making constant demands on my time even when I have tight deadlines.
Peers who only want to get ahead and won't contribute to the team.
My workers not producing the quality of work I would like.
People coming to meetings unprepared.
A client who calls from 5 to 15 minutes late every session.
Customers who always want something for nothing.
Ungrateful/nitpicking customers.
A client who consistently pays late.
A client who changes appointments frequently.
A client who does not prepare for sessions.
Clients who say, "I mailed the check" when they haven't.
Customers who yell at me when things don't go their way.
People who don't show up for a complimentary coaching session.
A secretary who is good at her job, but not office relationships.
My employee who continually arrives for work late.


Delay/Avoidance/Proscrastination
Not starting because I'm afraid of failing.
That I don't always do what I say I will do.
Not having a garden plot tilled although every year I wish I had.
Not taking enough time to see my women friends on a regular basis.
Intending to have a garage sale and not making time.
Not being able to use our vacuum because I have not ordered the special bag and filter pack.
Not learning the skills I want to have on the computer.
Not exercising as much I want to.
Not reading as much as I'd like to.
My husband I not taking the time to go dancing.
Not developing long term plans for my life
Not moving because it's too much work.
Not phoning my girlfriends for a chat.
Overdue store returns.
Paying pay for premium cable channels and then not watching them.
My 95%-done-for-a-year newsletter that still hasn't gone out.
Not working on a will.
Wanting to volunteer and not making time to do it.
Watching aimless TV at night instead of reading.
Not writing in my journal every morning although it helped me a great deal in
the past.
Loving to paint but not making the time to take a class.
Needing a specific type of music book to progress on my instrument and not having made the effort to find and obtain it.
Wanting to learn a foreign language but never signing up for classes.
Putting up with people in my life who no longer serve or excite me.
Having six rolls of film to develop.
Two bags full of old clothes which I keep meaning to take to the good will, but it's out of my way, so they have been "hiding" in the tub of my downstairs
guest bath for over a year.
Not having a webpage, which I have been wanting for months but have not taken any steps to obtain.
Not having advertised my business in several local forums due to disorganization and lack of follow-through.
Not knowing how to program my VCR so that I can record programs to view on my own timeframe.
Piles of newspaper in the living room waiting to be recycled.
Having always wanted to go into Christian ministry but letting circumstances stop me.
Per I still haven't sorted out proper life and health-care insurance.
My resistance to doing what it takes to get new clients.
Not getting myself to hire the clerical help I need.
Not having given myself a day free of all calls to sort out my to-do lists.
Not sharing with several people how special they are to me due to fear of vulnerability.
Not staying on my eating plan more reliably.
Wanting to take a walk and picking up the house instead
Having a bread machine and a crock-pot but not planning ahead to use them.
Buying food that goes bad before I make time to cook it

Environment/Climate/Location
The lack of privacy at home.
The TV being on at home all the time.
A work area that gets too noisy with people traffic.
Construction noise and mess from the new houses going up across the street.
A home workstation suited to my husband's needs and not to mine.
No obvious change of seasons where I live.
The smell of bleach and harsh chemicals after the cleaning crew has gone.
Not liking the town I work in.
Gray cubicle walls.
Not having a balcony to sit on in the afternoons.
Not being able to open the windows to get fresh air at the office.
My lot being small and my neighbors just a little bit too close.
The cold grey English autumn climate.
Poor lighting due to no overhead lights and too few lamps.
The buzzing sound coming from the recessed lighting.
Having to live in the same town with my two ex-husbands.
People smoking in public areas.
Having nowhere in my flat with enough light to read properly.
Not surfing and being in the ocean.
Working in a building with "old building syndrome".
Being four hours away from any good-sized city but wanting to live in a small town.
Living where it is too cold for me.
My neighbors' screaming kids.
My house being in a neighborhood with a mediocre school system.
Living in a city instead of being able to look out of the window at nature
Not living at the beach.
Intolerably hot summers where I live.
The commute to work taking between 1 hour and 1 1/2 hours depending on traffic.
Less sunlight in my life than I'd like.
The lack of snow in the winter where I live.
Too much chlorine in the pool where I swim.
Living in a barren desert community.
A workspace that is too small.
My office having no windows.
A climate which is gray/overcast 90% of the time.
The irritating "muzak" piped into our work area.
Office mate is noisy and inconsiderate.
Not having enough light in the kitchen.
Living in an environment where it rains 8 months a year.
The street light outside my bedroom window.


Equipment/Technology
A big finger-smudge in the middle of the computer screen.
A finicky fax machine that only works when it feels like it.
A phone cord that is too short.
My head set not having a mute button.
A calculator with small numbers.
Broken hinge on the printer.
A "dinosaur" carphone.
A calendar that is not extensive enough to accommodate my appointments.
Having to disconnect from the net in order to use fax machine.
A flaky 56K modem that connects when it wants to.
Having a new computer and not enough time to learn about it.
My floppy disk drive that no longer saves but I can't spare the computer to get it fixed.
The battery on my cell phone that needs recharging too often.
My computer clock losing time.
The mouthpiece on my headset that keeps slipping down to my neck.
Having no quick dial memory on my phone.
A mouse that sticks.
A Macintosh computer which I really love that I can't buy software for.
A new laser printer that has paper jams about every three days.
My computer back-up system seeming too hard so I don't have a back up.
Bugs in my scheduling program that reduce my efficiency.
Not being able to figure out how to use my voice recognition software.
My laptop computer needing a new battery for months.
Busy signals with my Internet service provider.
Not enough RAM in my computer to run applications I need to run.
Email distribution lists that return one or two addresses that are no longer valid.
Not having a copy machine in my office and having to trek to Kinko's when I need copies.
Too many unlabeled computer disks lying around.
A hard to adjust laptop screen.
Only having two phone lines.
Computer cords hanging out everywhere.
Having to try five times to connect to the Internet.
Curly faxes.
The ' + ' key on my calculator sticks.
Flickering on my computer screen.
Having a 28,800 baud modem.
Having to hand-feed the fax machine.
An echo in my phone line.
AOL telling me I've "been idle for a while".
Too many organizing tools. (Computer PIMS, Daytimers, Palm Pilot).


Family
A demanding mother-in-law.
Family members keeping (or telling) secrets.
Getting too easily irritated with my father.
My mom smoking in my house.
My family's unrealistic expectations of me.
A son-in-law who won't attend family functions.
A mother-in-law who drops in without an invitation or warning.
Indecision on my mother's part (she will not commit to anything).
Being a mother to my granddaughter.
Family expectations for the perfect Christmas.
My father living his life vicariously through me.
My codependent sister calling at all hours of the night and early morning.
My mother having no idea how much money she and my dad have.
My mother making me repeat everything 2 times on the phone and refusing to get hearing aids.
My dad's lack of attention and follow-through on family matters.
Having to sit through my Dad's home movie videos after every holiday they've been on.
My mother's obsession with not spending money.
My parents almost deliberate misunderstanding of each other, which winds them up.
My mother's constant whining about her health.
My mother-in-law's cooking.
My mother still thinking, after 22 years, that my vegetarian diet is a fad and I'll out grow it.
The way my in-laws treating me like their servant.
The insensitivity of my family.
That spending time with my family requires long distance travel.
Being designated the keeper of the family mementos and antiques.
The way my sister and I argue most of the time.
Not being able to visit my mother for nearly 2 years.
My mother being obsessed with my weight.
My sister and my mom talking to me but not each other.
My mother not telling me what is going on with her health.
Feeling pressure from my family (to call, to visit, etc.).
The tension in family reunions because of unresolved issues between family members.
My ex-husband continuing to harass me.
My mom still thinking she can tell me what to do.
Not being connected in a healthy way with my siblings.
My sister feeling I should be emotionally available to her all the time.
My mother's complaints and drama.
My mother-in-law's bizarre mood swings.
Not having enough contact with my extended family.
Parents who don't know when it is time to let go.


Feelings/Fears/Stress/Attitude
A forced type of spirituality instead of naturally believing.
Not having fully let go of astrology.
Constant self-doubt about my own known abilities.
Feeling not good enough for what I want to accomplish.
Not adopting and sticking to timelines for my projects.
Feeling sad about disappointments in my life.
Often making choices out of a sense of obligation rather than what I really want.
My anger towards a person who hurt me.
Still feeling guilty about having more money than some of my peers.
My not having the persistence to stick with projects till completion.
A poorly understood sense of purpose.
My lack of motivation regarding the reading I want to do.
Being easily annoyed.
Fear of falling down stairs.
My fears about being assertive with certain people at work.
My fears of failure.
The gnawing fear of starting my own business.
Avoiding issues in relationships due to my fear of confrontation.
Finding it difficult to ask for time and space to myself.
Being nervous before coaching calls with my clients.
Allowing my fear of others' disapproval to sometimes constrain my feelings of success.
My jaw is permanently set hard with tension.
Still feeling sexually driven sometimes.
Feeling lonely/disconnected too much of the time.
Guilt about not marketing hard enough.
Not being as compassionate as I would like.
Spending 95% of my waking hours struggling with frustration of some sort or another.
Feeling depressed and not taking enough action.
My tendency to sometimes be "nice" at the cost of not being "straight".
Not living in the present and being too concerned about what's next.
Having gotten very good at acting patient and hating every minute of it.
Feeling guilty about not going to church.
Not accepting my A.D.D. more fully.
Being embarrassed about asking my colleagues for help and advice.
Being very detail oriented and having to get all pieces of a project done.
That I "should" on myself too much and that I tend to "musterbate" to excess.
Having unrealistically high standards for my own behavior, which leads to negative self-talk.
Wearing only what's comfortable and looking like a slob because I can't bear tightness of any kind anymore.
Feeling totally out of control in my life.
Not always feeling grounded when I'm in social situations.


Friends/Neighbors
Friends that don't want to be at cause but want to complain.
A friend who calls too early and too late in the day.
Noisy neighbors in my apartment complex.
Having friends who forget the agreements they make.
Friends giving me advice when I don't ask, or want, it.
A friend's constant gossip.
The neighbor verbally abusing his kids and wife.
Friends thinking you are somehow to be pitied if you're not married.
Friends not initiating, so I do.
A friend's manipulation by guilt.
My best friend never having enough money to go places with me.
A close friend who always has the answers.
Friends that do not allow me to give to them.
A friend who hasn't recently been making our time a priority.
The neighbor's weeds.
My neighbor's barking dogs.
A friend who's too 'nice.'
Neighbors parking in front of the fire hydrant.
Neighbors not cleaning up after their dogs.
Hardly seeing or speaking to my friend since she had a baby.
My friend who wants to sell me products from her two multi-level marketing businesses after I said "no".
Almost all of the people I call friends being 10 to 20 years older than I am.
Friends won't don't return calls within 48 hours.
Gossipy neighbors.
Having no one in my life with whom I can be totally frivolous.
My neighbor's loud music until 2 am.
A close friend who always has 'better' than me.
My friend giving me the silent treatment when she's upset.
My friend talking behind my back.
Girlfriends who complain about their husbands.
Neighbor's cat walking across cars, in the garden, and digging up plants.
A scarcity of playmates to have fun with.
My neighbor's porch light staying on all night and shining into my bedroom.
My friend showing up late for everything.
My best friend and I not being as close as we used to be.
Friends giving feedback based on what they think I want to hear.
Friends not returning phone calls.
Friends that drain me, one-way friendships.
My neighbor's gardener turning on the leaf blower at 8 am.
Neighbors parking cars in front of my house all the time.


Furnishings
The broken handle on china cabinet.
The melted light fixture in the bedroom.
The mess of wires behind my desk that is impossible to maneuver when something needs to change.
My bedroom having no table light.
Loose wallpaper in the bathroom.
Crumbs under couch cushions.
New slipcovers that looked really great in the store, but just aren't quite the right shade of yellow.
Curtains that are too long in my bedroom.
A chair rung that has needed gluing for six months.
Too much furniture in the kids bedroom.
Worn pillow covers on the couch.
An entertainment center that doesn't have enough room for all of my components.
A black piano that needs dusting constantly.
Using my grandmother's bedroom set.
A broken zipper on couch cushion.
Cabinet doors that don't line up straight when they close.
The potted flowers to make the front entrance look great that have been dead a month.
The ugly pink curtains downstairs in the living room/dining room.
The ugly wall paper in the master bedroom.
Squeaky bed in extra bedroom.
Really tall spotlight that is burnt out.
The orange linoleum kitchen floor.
Mattress needing to be rotated.
No headboard on my bed.
Not having enough chairs in the house.
Our bookshelves being jammed, with no room for new books.
The only full-length mirror in the house not being hung on the wall.
Water rings on my rosewood table.
Chairs waiting to be reupholstered.
The beautiful Ficus tree in my living room so big it takes up half the room.
A mismatched chair and sofa.
The bedroom TV that is no longer remote.
The window shades in my home office becoming loose-threaded and shabby.
The uncomfortable sofa in my sitting room.
My living room couches becoming faded and worn.
Hating the upholstery I had put on our furniture three years ago.
The inadequate lighting in my son's bedroom.
Kid stained carpet.
Pictures getting crooked in the living room and nobody fixing them.
The bedside lamps that are hung just a bit too high.


Home - Inside
A slow-draining bathroom sink.
All the leaves my plants drop on the floors.
The medicine cabinet that has stains from dripped medicine.
Crickets in the house - dead or alive.
Lousy water pressure.
Mold in the grout between the tiles in the bathtub.
My bathroom being small and pink.
A kitchen that is too small.
A washing machine that has a water level out of adjustment.
My refrigerator always having a large container (12 - 18 pack) of beer in it.
The dust bunnies under my furniture.
Not having a light switch inside bathroom.
Dead moths between the screens and windows.
Kids' toys in my bathtub.
Condensation throughout the house.
The toilet in the guest bath that continues to run.
A brown splotch on the wall from where I smashed a centipede.
The toilet seat being left up
Toothpaste left on rim of cup and inside and around sink.
A toilet seat that slides off of the bowl when someone sits on it.
Never having the right size light bulbs when one burns out.
No "good" place for kids to do homework.
Nails in the walls with no pictures on them.
The burnt out light in the freezer.
Unofficial "science experiments" in the back of my refrigerator.
Spaghetti sauce stains on the side of the refrigerator.
Stacks of books on the floor under the window beside my bed.
The paint mistake on ceiling.
The place where two different colors of carpeting meet.
The electrical outlets in our house that are not screwed into the wall well enough.
My dead bolt that takes six tries to get it to lock in place.
My stove being off balance and the door not staying open.
The bathtub that won't hold water.
Lights not being turned out when children vacate rooms.
The gas fireplace that shuts off at will.
Salt being in the peppershaker by mistake.
Too much sunlight in my bedroom too early in the am.
Those stupid ball-shaped acrylic sink knobs in my bathroom which are impossible to turn when my hands are soapy.
Wet washrags left in the tub and shower.
Squeaky steps.


Home - Outside
Gophers tunneling under my new front lawn.
Leaves in the driveway that get tracked into the house.
The squirrel getting in the bird feeder just outside the living room window.
Paint cans lined up in the garage.
The gas Weedeater that is hard to start.
The ladder sitting on front porch.
One number being off the mailbox.
An underground sprinkler system that needs to be replaced.
15 garden hoses that all leak.
The mailbox being on the wrong side of the road.
Nails popped up on the deck.
Dead battery on garage door opener.
Wide, 1960's, white siding.
The tree out front that needs to come down.
Gutters so full that weeds have sprouted.
The deck being wobbly so no one is brave enough to walk on it.
The big dent in the garage door.
A rocky hillside with no grass growing.
Not having assigned parking in my apartment complex.
A laundry area that is in the garage.
The landscaping I love so much being so much work to keep up.
Not covering my outdoor furniture so I can use it anytime without wiping it down.
Layers and layers of crud on the burners of the barbeque.
Water hose not reaching to furthest point in the yard.
A skateboard consistently left in the walkway.
A roof that has leaked for a year.
Having gravel driveway instead of concrete
The incomplete roof over the back porch
Having a tree in the middle of the driveway
A driveway that is sloped so that all the water from up the street flows right across it when it rains
Rattlesnakes traveling through my property and through my house.
The rusty, unused swingset in the backyard.
Moss growing all over my roof.
Not having an outside storage building
Wild scallions in the backyard that proliferate like mad and come back diabolically after you root them out.
A garden shed that is rusting and needs replacing.
Solar panels on the roof that no longer work.
Rusty iron porch railings.
Trim on the house that almost has no paint on it anymore.
 

Miscellaneous
200 broken crayons
A bad picture on my driver's license.
Beating myself up because I can't seem to apply all the things I know to myself.
Having a big pool not assembled and still in garage.
Boxes of stuff for Goodwill cluttering the hallway.
Buying a gallon of milk everyday at the Quickstop.
Buildings that are not wheelchair accessible.
Buying vacuum bags that break and not remembering the brand name.
Dragging paper between the office and home.
Expired salad dressings in the fridge.
Having 500 pens but not one in sight when I answer bedroom phone.
Having to look for tape dispenser when I need it.
Keeping gifts I do not like or need just because they are gifts.
Five half full bottles of alcohol.
Keeping two full sets of china.
Looking for a pair of scissors.
Looking for sunglasses every time I leave the house.
Loving myself less than I should.
No Kleenex in the room I need one.
Open soda cans in the refrigerator.
People asking to borrow my truck just because I have one.
People borrow things and do not promptly return them.
People who ask for favors all the time but can never return one.
People who call me from their cell phone while they are driving.
People who disrupt meetings with their side conversations.
People who talk to me on a speakerphone.
The phone being left off the charger.
The squirrels who dig up my plants when they bury their nuts.
Saving ends of wallpaper just in case.
Squirrels emptying my birdfeeder in less than a day.
Sticky notes all over computer.
Storing platters and big serving plates that I use once in five years.
Being the only one who seems to know how to really clean a bathroom.
Using a lead pencil that won't click down lead.
Using the same dentist out of habit instead of satisfaction.
Videos left out of cases and strewn around.
Wanting to use the camera and the last picture was already used.
Working within an HMO.
Calling and getting automated answers.
Receiving too many email jokes and useless stories.


Money/Income
A balance on a high interest credit card.
Being in credit card debt for two years now.
Not being able to get my savings account balance above $1,000.
Medical insurance that doesn't cover alternative health care.
Not having enough money to buy the things I need and want without anxiety.
Having a cash flow crunch every month.
Not understanding my stock portfolio.
A lack of consistent income.
Finances not being well managed
Having big debts to pay off.
Not earning enough to be able to fly first class all the time.
Not having a coach because I can't afford one.
Feeling like I don't contribute enough to the household income.
Family members who always come to me to borrow money.
Supporting a 27 year-old son out of guilt.
Not having enough money towards retirement.
My job not paying my bills.
The lack of financial contribution from my husband.
That money determines the way I live.
Not having wills, burial plots or a pre-planned funeral.
Not knowing how to use the financial software I have.
Having credit cards with high interest rates and not doing research to find some cards that are lower.
My little niggling doubts about income next year.
All my money being only for paying my bills.
Being afraid to deal with my finances.
Using one credit card to pay off another.
Paying high college tuition when my son is not even sure he wants to go to college.
My ex not paying child support regularly.
Not having a personal accountant.
Not putting aside 10% of my income when commission checks are small.
Fighting with my husband whenever we talk about money.
Owing money to several people.
A 60 day payout on my invoices with one client.
That all of my debt will not be paid off until March 2008.
Investments that should be reevaluated but haven't been.
Not understanding what I spend my money on.
Having owed my mother money for over two years.
My medical insurance deductible being $1000 per person.
Not usually having more than $5 of cash on hand.
Loose coin all over the house-on bureaus, desks, tables, etc.
 
 
Pets
"Kitty nose smudges" on the bottom third of the two glass panels on each side of the front door.
A cat that thinks it's necessary to lie on my wrists when I'm working on the computer.
A family cat of 12 years who throws up often.
An otherwise wonderful dog that wants to constantly stop and sniff instead of walking along briskly.
Cat food constantly on the floor in the laundry room.
The cat running in the house when the door is opened.
The dog getting into the trash.
Dog hair throughout my bedsheets, carpet, clothes, all over my body and in my mouth.
The dog digging up the flowerbed.
Dog scratches on the front door.
My parrot squawking and screeching for attention.
My parrot repeating the same thing over and over and over.
Our dogs going over to neighbors.
Owning an inside/outside dog and living in rainy Seattle.
Tripping over my dog's toys throughout the house.
The kitten shredding my plants (but she's so cute).
The dogs chewing up my last 4 garden hoses.
My cat bringing in dead bloody animals.
My cat throwing litter everywhere within four feet of the litter box.
A cat that stinks.
Cat footprints all over my cars.
My dog not being trained with good manners.
Sharing the bathroom with the cat (litter on the floor).
My dog's neurotic behavior.
My dog's bad breath.
My cat being finicky and not eating dried cat food.
Our dog getting on the furniture.
Not having a pet.
The cat that sits under the birdfeeder.
The cats crying to be let in or out all day long.
The cats shedding faster than I can vacuum.
Our dog not being trained well enough to come when we call him.
The dogs tugging at their leashes when I take them for walks.
The grungy fish tank.
My horse not standing well for the farrier.
My horse's nipping.
The sound of the cat coming through the catdoor in the middle of the night.
That when the cat is around there's not room for two of us in the office.
A dog that everyone wanted yet no one wants to brush her, walk her, ...etc.
My dog drinking from the toilet.
 

Possessions
Unused weights.
10,000 pens and not one pencil when I need one.
CDs in the wrong location (home, office, or car) when I want them somewhere else.
The broken rocking horse in kid's bedroom.
Seven trash cans instead of one big one.
A 15-year-old television that only works half the time.
The chest that scars the wall every time it is opened.
A 5 year old pair of eyeglasses.
An adjustable lamp that continually won't adjust.
The blinking light on the VCR.
A noisy icemaker in the kitchen.
Dried up markers.
Only having one vacuum cleaner for a house with three levels.
Dull scissors.
A garden hose with the end run over.
Having more plants to take care of than I really enjoy.
A button missing from my newly upholstered couch.
The longest extension cord having a split.
Mildewy life vests on the boat we never use.
No lids for 100 plastic containers.
A coat closet full of coats no one wears.
A time-share that I am not using.
Photographs in a messy pile on a bookshelf
Plants that need to be repotted.
A green marker stain in the middle of my daughter's bedspread.
Owning four pair of reading glasses and can't find one when I need them.
That my skis are too long, but too new to replace.
My diploma that was framed crookedly.
My dishwasher leaking all over the floor every time it's used.
Pencils without erasers.
A barbeque that drips on the deck.
Frying pans that are too small.
Having a video camera but never having the battery charged and everything ready to go.
The grungy, ugly lamp over my desk.
The stack of garage-sale-stuff that keeps growing.
The knick-knacks that collect dust around my house.
Too many magnets on the refrigerator.
Too many remotes for TV.
Worn out ironing board cover.
My frying pan - everything sticks!
 

Professionals/Vendors/Suppliers
A doctor who only wants his agenda and doesn't really listen.
A passively hostile caretaker for my husband.
Dentists who push unnecessary cosmetic treatments.
My dentist talking to me and expecting an answer when my mouth is full of his
hands and dental equipment.
Getting phone calls from my kids' teachers at the end of the grading period.
My primary care physician never adhering to appointment times.
My son's teacher sending home a report when the issue occurred last week.
Having to make an appointment with my accountant just to get an answer to a question.
Coaches trying to sell to other coaches via email lists.
A lawyer who only returns high priority phone calls.
Paying too much for an accountant for the level of simplicity of my taxes.
Dry cleaning sometimes costing more than what I paid for the garment.
A house cleaning person who does not do what I want.
Paying too much for childcare.
A mailman who delivers the wrong mail to me.
My CPA not doing more tax planning.
Car repair shops that are not open on Saturdays.
Excessive bank charges.
My bank hiring only rude tellers.
My housekeeper not paying attention to detail.
No available baby-sitters at night.
The landscape company not getting the water timer right.
Resetting the microwave clock weekly because the housekeeper uses the socket for the vacuum cleaner.
Slow service and "attitude" at my favorite fast food restaurant.
My hairdresser doing what he wants and not what I want.
My hair salon making me wait because they overbook.
A rude garage attendant in my office building.
My bank not being hooked up so I can download transactions into Quicken.
Unsolicited marketing calls.
Telephone solicitors that don't accept "No" for an answer.
My optometrist not being able to get my vision as good as I want it.
The newspaper boy always throwing the paper into the bushes.
A massage therapist who babbles on incessantly.
Vendors who don't deliver on (agreed upon) schedule.
Waiters who ask if chicken or fish is ok when I say I am a vegetarian.
The dry cleaners not having clothes ready the day they promised.
Waiters/waitresses interrupting conversations to ask if everything is okay - once or several times.
Having phone companies competing for my long distance charges.
Checkout clerks who don't smile or act appreciative of my business.
Dealing with my insurance company about an auto claim.


Relationships/Interactions
A former spouse not contributing time or money to help raise our children.
A relationship that destroys my self-confidence.
Having to work with one ex-husband.
Not having anyone in my life to help me with the crossword.
My roommate not cleaning up after himself.
Still being tied to my husband's "ex" by our commitment to mutually put two children through college.
An inability to attract the type of people I want to.
Currently weak networks.
The difficulty in building community in Southern England.
Still trying to impress other people.
My roommate not paying her share of the expenses.
A Homeowners' Association that is like the Gestapo.
Never having been in a healthy relationship.
A miserable landlady.
Being clueless about how one builds a network and not being to able to figure it out in a way that isn't too overwhelming.
Having to sit in AA meetings with an ex-husband.
Feeling like I am being taken advantage of by the organization I do volunteer work for.
Not listening as closely to others as I might.
Manipulating by not being conscious of my agenda when I communicate.
People being late or forgetting what time we were due to meet.
Getting impatient with people who are slower than me
Not knowing how to ask for space from people without getting snippy because I've waited too long.
Being put on hold for more than two minutes.
Being the "responsible" person in my relationships.
A consulting arrangement that has some draining energy to it.
People who call on the telephone and don't announce their names.
Not fully communicating to people who have broken a boundary of mine.
Not standing up for myself IMMEDIATELY.
Getting unsolicited faxes at home in the middle of the night.
Waiting for fitness machines at the gym when others take too long.
Not having enough people in my life that share my interests.
Ambiguity in a consulting relationship with two partners.
Volunteering and feeling the need to take over the whole project.
Not always expressing my true feelings.
Not enough dynamic people in my life.
A living situation that could be better.
My ex husband's pettiness.
A land lady who drops in and makes "helpful" comments.
People who borrow and do not return.
People who don't follow through on their commitments.
Not feeling comfortable talking to strangers (potential clients!).


Spouse/Significant Other
My husband not filling the gas tank when it's almost empty.
My husband's obsessive/compulsive ways.
My boyfriend having no career plan or ambition.
My husband never initiating sex.
My husband not communicating his needs.
My husband talking to me when I am upstairs or downstairs from where he is.
My husband turning the remote on the TV so fast.
My boyfriend never telling me how he feels, but expecting me to intuit it.
My husband not putting the kids to bed if I'm out in the evening.
My mate assuming he knows what is going on with me without checking it out with me first.
My husband watching TV in our bedroom when I want to sleep.
My partner and I having different ideas about planning for the future.
My husband not un-scrunching socks after removing them.
Lack of enrollment of my spouse in our marriage and home environment.
My partner not wanting to have children.
My husband starting projects around the house and not completing them.
My husband always wanting to vacation at a golf resort and spending too much time on the golf course.
My dissatisfaction with my sexual relationship with my wife.
My husband expecting me to do all the detail work and do my job too.
My husband not taking good enough care of himself.
My wife's lack of appreciation.
My husband hunting every Saturday during the season.
My husband is not being unconditionally constructive with my daughter.
My boyfriend waking me in the morning when he leaves for work even though I don't have to get up yet.
My husband playing movies too loudly with surround sound.
My spouse's tone of voice when he talks to me.
My wife coming home from work complaining every day.
My wife's criticism.
My husband's needing to be right all the time.
My husband's book buying obsession.
My husband's pile of clean clothes he hasn't put away that sits on top of the headboard of the bed.
My husband's snoring keeping me awake.
My wife's blue eye shadow.
My husband not calling when he's going to be considerably late.
My husband's pile of dirty clothes on the floor next to the bed.
My wife not putting things back where they belong.
My partner always being 15 minutes late.
My husband running the water continuously as he does the dishes and as he brushes his teeth.
My husband not picking up after himself.
My husband interrupting me when I'm halfway through a sentence.


Work/Career
A boss who does not put my name on materials I write.
A job I do not like.
Having to commute 1 hour each way to work.
Earning less than I am worth.
Impossible workloads resulting from downsizing.
Infrequent contact/support from my supervisor.
Lack of privacy in cubes at the office.
Large corporation red tape and b.s. paperwork.
Meetings without agendas.
More travel in my business than I truly want.
My boss 'forgetting' to give me information I need despite regular discussions
on that fact.
My boss never being available for feedback.
Working and not feeling good about it.
A supervisor who is always out of town
Having to sit in long and boring team meetings from which I get nothing.
Being distracted at work and not getting things done.
Being bored with my paid work; not getting paid for the work I love
My boss not understanding what I do all day.
Doing my own typing.
The repetitive nature of my job.
A profession whose goals and standards I can no longer relate to.
My boss never asking for my input.
A lack of an up-to-date business plan.
My boss never giving me feedback that is useful.
My business partner not following through on what he says he's going to do.
The amount of work you receive if you volunteer for just one little thing.
Working in a cubicle.
Feeling like there is not time to take a lunch break.
My boss never praising my performance.
Having to get up each morning before the sun rises.
Not being able to work part time.
A career that doesn't meet my needs and values.
Not having a grand plan for my career.
Not having a job with more benefits and perqs.
My boss never letting me be completely right, even when he agrees with me, and always having to have the last word.
My business partner not supporting my business decisions.
My work situation demanding that I either work late or leave work unfinished.
Paying too much rent for my office.
Working between desks.
Working for someone who is slow to pay the bill.

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