Today I am drawing my awareness to Personal Sovereignty in conversation. I was needing to have a conversation with my father that I had successfully resisted for almost a year, today I picked up the phone and came from my authentic self, was open and honest.
It felt so freeing and different from what I had “expected.” I realized that I was already attaching meaning and story to the conversation before it had even begun, my heaviness was keeping me in resistance mode. When I thought about the conversation from his perspective it suddenly felt open and filled with possibility, my meaning had nothing to do with his.
Coming from the space of Personal Sovereignty allowed me to see past myself, which seems curious in some ways, but not so in others. When I was able to move out of my own head and into that deeper soul space I realized my request was not only serving me, it also was serving a the whole of our family. When we move out of Personal Sovereignty, at least for me, I tend to move right into external reference, which never is anywhere near as powerful and supportive.
I find I am reframing and redefining Personal Sovereignty for myself as I spend this past week contemplating it and have had some powerful ah ha’s when I realize I’ve stepped outside of the mindfulness. In those moments I am certainly not my best. When Blake and I argued, Personal Sovereignty was nowhere to be found, it was not about soul’s voice, it was attachment to who’s right and who’s wrong, who wins and who loses and so no one was right and no one won. Just as in the resistance with the conversation with my father I was moving from what others may think or say, or story around the experience, and not the truth of what is.
Personal Sovereignty had brought a huge week of awareness and freedom, I want to continue being mindful even as I step to the next five fifteen.
In the spirit of play,
Deanna, you inspired me!
I’ve been putting off a similar phone call; a couple of weeks ago my sister told me my niece wants to talk with me. I thought about it; she has never initiated contact as long as I’ve known her; I’m the one who always initiates the calling and e-mailing, and sometimes she fails to respond. This time I decided that if she really wants to talk with me, she will pick up the phone. It certainly seemed like a logical and correct position, but every day I thought about calling her, and had to remind myself of my position so I didn’t make the call. After reading your post, I just picked up the phone and called; she didn’t answer, so I left a message, which she may or may not respond to.
What’s this about for me? Personal Sovereignty, for me, is about vulnerability, openness, and reaching out in the world. Some people will respond, and others won’t, but it doesn’t work for me to stifle my desire to connect. For nearly two weeks I carried around a hard place in my thoughts and my heart that I’m sure affected other areas of my life, and for full self-expression I had to soften it.
May we continue to play…
I know exactly what you are speaking of, when the desire to prove or be right overcomes our own true beliefs. I am so glad you made the call – I am sure you heart feels more open and light because you did!
In the spirit of possibility,