The Tether’s That Bind!
Hear From 3 Amazing Women on What Tether’s Them To The Spot!
Crazy Coaching Friday Episode #011 Highlight! (Video below)
28:25 minutes into the video
Dawn: The tether that I am thinking about is a lead that I have been extending and extending and extending and I am now at the end of the lead and I do just need to break away.
One of the biggest things that has helped me break away [in the past] is changing my environment. Usually it’s linked to a job, but always going to a completely new town, different organization, different relationships, etc.
My challenge is all around being seen and being visible.
The other thing that resonated with me is “if you want to grow your business, you need to grow yourself.”
And, I’m in a place where I love what I do, I have a fantastic life but I do want to grow the business and I’m recognizing that I’m going to have to grow myself and just be bigger, more visible.
Dave: Do you think that the moving around helped you become more visible or does the moving around diminish your visibility because you have to keep starting over all the time?
Dawn: I think that it helped me because it meant that I was also doing bigger things, more visible things. Bigger roles. Some in some ways it helped me shape my visibility.
Dave: so, in the tethers there is something that you are holding onto that is limiting your visibility opportunities.
Dawn: Yes. Keeping quiet
Deanna: Something’s coming up for me. We talk about this in Step Up and Stand Out. The idea is to go to a networking event by yourself instead of with someone you know because it allows you to be who you really are, not be tethered to what other people think.
I’m curious if moving allows you to sever those limiting tethers and really be you for that moment and then when it get’s comfortable and people know you then it becomes time to move to a new space where you can be fully you with out other’s judgments.
Dave: I’m wondering too. I think Deanna is making an interesting point. An environmental refresh, going into a new place, is a tremendous opportunity to reinvent yourself and it’s much easier to reinvent yourself in a new place because no one knows who you were fore, so there’s nothing holding you to act in a particular way.
I wonder what is it like to reinvent yourself where people already know you? Where you have to consciously re-educate everyone about who you are, rather than just starting over.
Which, starting over can seem easier for reinvention. But, I wonder if the bigger challenge actually reinventing who you are with people who know you.
Dawn: And, as you say that, I feel terrified.
Dave: That’s when you know were onto something people!
34:03 minutes into the video
Jill: I was wondering what tether to talk about because there are so many.
What Dawn was saying resonates with me because I left a job in January that I’ve been at for several years as a nurse in a high position to do coaching full-time. And I feel like I am in my community reinventing myself.
I’m teaching other people, that “Yes, I’m still a nurse, but that’s not my primary role anymore.”
Although it doesn’t ever shut off when I’m working with people.
But, I am finding this interesting.
People say to me, “Wow. Why would you leave Michigan Hospital? How could you do such a thing?”
So then I wonder, “Oh shoot. Did I make a wrong decision?”
I’m tethered to that feeling. And I’m tethered to the feeling that when I was at the Hospital I felt like I was making a difference. And, all these certifications I have.
I feel I need to show that I’m worthy to “You” [my client/ my community] in order to be qualified to work with you. (35:22)
Dave: That is juicy! And, so awesome. So, Jill you are experiencing the challenge of reinventing yourself in a community that already knows you in a particular way. It is a big challenge.
And, Dawn is facing the challenge of always reinventing herself by going into new communities which has it’s own challenges and rewards but she maybe be also needing to step up into a similar challenge.
So, how does one reinvent themselves in a community where you’re known a particular way?
37:40 minutes into the video
Pam: My biggest tether, and Deanna knows this, but it was my family’s opinion of me. My family’s opinion of who they thought I was and who they thought I should be going forward.
The other big tether for me was the fact that I was afraid to be big. I was afraid to be fabulous. For a long time, I got stuck in the proof thing verse just jumping out there in a really big way.
That all summed up to fear. The fear that I need to live up to other people’s definition of me.
Dave: Well said. Pam, what’s a definition of you that people had that is time to let go of?
Pam: I’m too sensitive. “Oh, your so sensitive” And, actually, sensitivity is good as a coach.
But as a result, I tried to be strong. And I am strong. But I would also not be sensitive on purpose when I was with my family because they always put that on me like it was a bad thing.
Dave: Okay, that’s really cool.
I just have this question. I wonder, how do we educate our environment as to the value of who we are? Or, the value of our gifts?
Deanna: The tethers we’re talking about are really closely tied and they’re really closely tied to what Molly said early on about stories.
I think that the tethers can change when we tell different stories.
So it starts with how we talk about ourselves and what we choose to say and what we choose to sensor.
Even deeper than that, when Pam said that her family told her she was too sensitive, I had the exact opposite experience. My family said, “Oh she’s strong. She can do anything. She doesn’t need help.” And then there came a time, with Blake’s leukemia that that was NOT the truth. But, for the first six months, I tried to prove I could be that strong person.”
The first time I said, I need help was one of the most freeing moments of my whole life. So, when we’re ready to start telling a different story then that starts to change things around us.
What Tether’s do YOU have?
Could you relate to Dawn, Jill and Pamela? How so?
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Crazy Coaching Friday Episode #010 Timeline.
|Time At…||Coaching Topic|
|min||Contestant Introductions & Topic Intro|
|min||Book Burning: Did Dave Really Do It?|
|min||Dawn Reveals a Big Secret|
|min||Jill unveals her tether|
|min||Pam and the “Family” tether!|
|min||Dawn Gets Coached on ‘Asking For Help!’|
|min||Jill Cuts the Virtual Cord!|
|min||Highlights from the show|