Do you believe that to be a great coach you have to be the perfect role-model?
Do you put pressure on yourself to have an answer for everything you client may want?
If you answered yes to either of the questions above, you are not alone (trust me, it’s a mindset I still sometimes catch myself in).
Fortunately, it is a misunderstanding. Unfortunately, it’s one that you bought into.
I’m here to tell you it’s time to sell! Forgive yourself and release this misunderstanding.
Why?
Because you don’t actually fear being a role-model and you don’t fear giving answers, what you truly fear is being vulnerable.
I’ll never forget when I read this quote by Gary Zukav in his book, The Seat Of The Soul. My jaw dropped. I underlined it and highlighted it. And, it has become my coaching mantra.
“Anything we fear to lose – a home, a car, an attractive body, an agile mind, a deep belief – is a symbol of external power. What we really fear is an increase in our vulnerability. This results from seeing power as external.” – pg 24, The Seat Of the Soul
Here’s the deal. When you’re studying to be anything – a coach, a doctor, a teacher – the course work and perhaps even the instructors won’t tell you to be vulnerable. There’s no instruction manual for it.
Harder still, the great leaders out there who are successful are naturally sharing their vulnerable truths. They gave up trying to be perfect long ago. But, they do perfectly-imperfect so well, the rest of us don’t even notice.
So how do you walk that fine line of being vulnerable – sharing who you really are, all masks aside, AND still be a coach.
The answer lies in this two step secret formula:
#1. The first step, I truly believe is to read the book The Seat Of The Soul, by Gary Zukav. (I LOVED It!!!)
Why?
Well, if me loving it’s not enough (tee hee), here is another key reason…
Because, every few pages there is a new provocative idea for you to explore. This creates a new opportunity for you to BE vulnerable by opening yourself to explore your thoughts, intentions and actions.
It is only when we open ourselves to be vulnerable that we can then begin to share it. (The main concept of step #2.)
Likewise, it is when we are growing that we can share our vulnerable experiences. This book will give you an opportunity to grow.
#2. The second step is to SHARE! This of course, naturally follows the first.
Why?
Because nobody actually wants to be coached by the know-it-all or the perfect-coach.
Know it all’s are annoying.
And, people who seem to have the perfect coaching practice without any struggle feel fake. They’re like the people you meet at a dinner party that are just painful to talk to because you can’t seem to get past the small talk.
We’ve all seen these coaches online. They’re the ones that only post great tips about how to do this better or how to avoid that. All they ever share are coaching how-to’s and facts and articles. You’d love to know who they are in real life. But, they never show you.
To give you an example, reading the idea about external power verses fear of increased vulnerability pushed me WAY outside of my comfort zone and I decided to share on Facebook a very personal, vulnerable moment I had.
I am writing a memoir and just wrote a scene for my Memoir about the first time I realized I should start shaving my armpit hair! It was a mortifying experience…I was at the beach when a school acquaintance told me that my underarm hair was GROSS and I needed to start shaving.
(My memoir centers a year when I was bullied in middle school)
Personally, it was enough that I even wrote the scene and asking myself to go back to that vulnerable state.
But I realized, I was hiding behind my “perfect memoir” image. None of my fans could really connect with me and my material if I kept this vulnerable, scary stuff secret. I needed to start sharing these super vulnerable moments.
So, I took a deep breath and shared it on Facebook.
I was literally shaking as I did it. I was afraid I was sharing too much personal information. I was afraid people would judge me based on who I had been. And, I was afraid that no one would be able to relate.
Oh boy, was I WRONG!
Women came out of the woodwork to like my post and share their experiences. Even better, I now feel so connected to all the women who shared. I feel we’ve built a deep layer of mutual trust and understanding from that one Facebook post.
Having clients and potential clients feel trust and understanding with me is GOLD! That is what keeps my clients coming back and making their own big changes.
Get the book and start sharing your vulnerable truth!
You won’t regret it.
PS. In full disclosure, I am an affiliate with Amazon. So, if you click any of the links above to buy the book Amazon does throw 4% my way. (pennies really) But, Amazon has NOT asked me to promote this book. I loved it and wanted to share.
Link with my affiliate code: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/067169507X/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=067169507X&linkCode=as2&tag=empowritnow-20
If you’d prefer to buy this book WITHOUT my affiliate link, here’s a straight connection to Amazon. I will make no $ if you click this link:
Link without my affiliate code: http://www.amazon.com/The-Seat-Soul-Gary-Zukav/dp/067169507X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382924369&sr=8-1&keywords=the+seat+of+the+soul+by+gary+zukav
