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A powerful exercise to Energize Your Dream – Explore Your Fears (4 of 9)
Coach Dave explains how our dreams are social AND we learned a LOT of social fears in the Industrial Age. These fears are trying to keep us safe by hiding our playfulness and unique power.
SO… if you explore your fears – like a treasure map – you can discover your lost treasure: your power and playfulness!
You can use this model as a way to get some ideas about the fears you learned in the Industrial Age.
Imagine yourself playing out in the world. Notice the fears that you experience.
Write the fears on the left side of a page.
Next you are going to PLAY with each fear; be curious about it, wonder what power or playfulness it is trying to protect.
Imagine each fear is a clue on a treasure map leading to your playfulness and power.
Have fun with it!
Go beyond Industrial Age mindset that wants you to stay in a safe little box. Imagine you are on a BIG adventure out in the world!
For us coaches… this is a very important exercise … because we are the Adventure Guides for Life.
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Hello to you coach Dave, back here with you. This is the champion of dreams podcast, the podcast for coaches, powered by CoachVille.com, where we are the champions of your dreams to be a great coach. And together, we champion the dreams of amazing players, making the world a better place all over the world. team play for transformation. This is episode number four for December the 26th 2020.
00:40 Energize Your Dream Series
Now, in the first nine episodes of this new podcast, I’m sharing with you nine ways that you can energize your dream. And so far, we have explored activating your imagination, to see and feel the experiences that you desire, and then to imagine yourself playing for those experiences. This is awesome.
01:08 Explore Your Fear
Now today, we are going to explore a really provocative idea, which is that to energize your dream, you need to explore your fears. And I know that sounds crazy, you’re thinking coach Dave, I’m trying to live my dream, why am I going to mess around with my fears? Well, that is a very, very good question that I will attempt to answer in the next eight minutes. Okay, so stay with me.
01:40 The Many Forms of Fear
So we’re talking about fear. Now, fear has many forms. And it helps to be able to just recognize all of these forms of fear. We’re talking about resistance, avoidance, confusion, isolation, procrastination. These are all of the experiences that are what I like to call fear adjacent. They’re related to fear. But we don’t always name them as fear. But that’s what they are. Now, it’s important to really understand what fear is. The purpose of fear is to keep us safe. Fear is our friend. Fear is not your enemy. Your fears are your friend. That’s a big idea. And I will get into that in a moment.
02:35 We are Talking About Social Fear
The idea is to live your dream, you have to engage in social play, right? You have to get out into the world. We talked about these four pivotal moments of play. In yesterday’s episode, relate, create, explore, and experiment. You need to express your playfulness, and your unique power, your superpowers. And this is where fear comes in. All fear that we’re talking about here is social fear. And social fear is learned. You are not born with social fear. It’s learned. And that is awesome. Because if you learned social fear, which you did, we’ll talk about that, you can learn something more; you can learn the next level beyond your fear.
03:37 We learned to fear our playfulness and power
So when we talk about social fears, and beliefs about: what’s Okay, what’s not, okay, what’s good, what’s not good. These are very important. For our human experience. This is the way we, as humans, co created tribes and societies and civilizations, which have been a good thing. However, in the industrial age, all of this just went way too far. It went way too far. And what we learned in the industrial age was to fear, our playfulness, and our unique power. And even in some cases, we learn to fear our own dreams. And this is really the big idea. When it comes to energizing your dream is to recognize where all these fears that you’re having where they came from, not to make them the problem, but just to understand and explore them and I’ll get into that as we move along here in my in my quick eight minutes. I’ve got three minutes to go.
04:58 The 7 Social Fears
Anyway, we’ve got These four pivotal moments of play. Well, each of them has a fear that comes with it. So for example, when you talk about relating for influence, well, we all learn the fear of rejection. When you talk about creating for expression, we all learn the fear of disappointment, and the fear of judgment. When you talk about exploring for visibility, which you need for your dream, there’s just the fear of getting in trouble finding trouble. And the big one, from the industrial age, we talk about experimenting for change. We all learn in the industrial age to fear mistakes, which is pretty much debilitating. And then going beyond that we learn to fear failure, which is also debilitating if you’re trying to play for a dream. So these are the big fears that you recognize, you know, you experience all of these, but these are related to your playfulness, and your unique power. And there’s one more because there are seven.
06:12 We got in trouble for playing
And when you think about your playfulness, and your power and all the experiences that you’ve had, what we’re looking at here is, so many times in our industrial age lives, we basically got in trouble for being playful, or we got in trouble for being our unique, powerful selves. getting in trouble means you were in danger of losing your status in the tribe, your status of belonging was under threat. That’s what being in trouble means.
06:49 The fear that I am not enough
And then the other situation that we all experienced, which brought us fear, is when we attempted to use our power, to come to someone’s aid that we cared about who is in a bad situation. But the power didn’t work. It wasn’t enough. And that’s when we learned this really core fear that we are not enough that I am not enough. And so all of these experiences that now seem like roadblocks. These are social fears that we learned.
07:24 Our adventure is to uplift Humanity out of the Industrial Age
But here’s the really important idea, the big idea, which is that since you learned all of these social fears, when you are expressing your power or your playfulness, you can explore them, like a treasure map, and rediscover your playfulness, and superpowers. And I believe this is the greater purpose of your big dream, all of us, I believe we have these big dreams in our hearts. They call us out to adventure out into the world, where we then experience our desire to create value in the world, then we also experience our social fear. But if we explore that fear, we can rediscover the power and playfulness that we need to live our dreams that we need to uplift humanity beyond this Industrial Age. And that’s what it’s all about. We’re all here with our dreams, to uplift each other out of the industrial age and into the connected age. This is the adventure of our lifetimes. And it starts now. It starts right now.
08:44 The Exercise
So here is the exercise you get back into your comfy Place your comfy chair by the window. And this is a two column exercise, what you want to do is just imagine yourself playing for your dream, being playful, being out in the world. And notice the feelings of fear that come up or resistance or avoidance or confusion, just notice them and just write them down on the left side of a piece of paper. And you can use the seven examples of fear that I that I shared a moment ago as a starting place, you probably recognize them already. And then what you do is on the right side of the paper after you write down a few fears, try to imagine or notice what might be the area of playfulness, or what might be the unique power that your fear is trying to protect. Because Always remember, your fear is trying to protect you and the status quo. But your dream is trying to call you out beyond the status quo. And there’s always going to be some friction there. We’ll talk about that another day.
09:57 You can PLAY with your fears
But in the meantime, the key to that This exercise is to be playful with your fear. You can play with your fear, and be curious and be wondering about it. And like I said, your fears can be this amazing treasure map that will lead you back to your power. It’s going to take some time, but it starts now with this exercise. And all of us are moving towards this better future, but we have to co create it together.
10:30 Please share this!
Alright, that took a little bit more than 10 minutes, but here we are. So thank you for spending this time with me. Please feel free to share this with your players or anyone you know, who would love to play big, anyone who you know who would love to learn more about coaching. And that is it. This was super fun sharing this with you. Have a great day. I will be back with you again tomorrow. You can find the transcript of this episode as well as lots of other awesome things for coaches and players on our website, CoachVille.com and until the next time remember, everyone needs a champion for their dreams. That’s why there’s coaches.