Attraction Principle #11: Create a Vacuum
Top Ten List
As you know by now, the idea behind Attraction is to attract stuff to you instead of chasing after it in some way. So, if we bring in the notion of physics, you’ll either need to become a magnet or else become a vacuum of sorts. The list below focuses on just how to use the pulling power of a vacuum to either pull yourself forward, or to pull things to you.
1. Better to be pulled forward than to push yourself forward.
Most of the cars today are front-wheel drive — the engine pulls the car forward via the front wheels instead of the rear wheels — it’s a lot more efficient and eliminates the need for the drive train/hump going through the middle of your car. But aside from the trend in automobiles, the notion of being pulled forward is usually a lot more efficient than being pushed. Think of the planets and gravity, maglev trains, magnets, vision (vs. goals), incentive vs. threat, etc. Sure, you CAN push yourself forward, and it does work well, but most of the time, you’ll find that being pulled forward is easier on you than being pushed forward. There is a natural ‘pull’ somewhere in your life — identify it and simply hang on for the ride, instead of trying to propel yourself forward. Some folks call this pulling phenomenon “flow” and it is partly that, but it goes a step further than flow, as you’ll discover via the remaining points below.
2. Becoming more superconductive creates a vacuum.
As you know, part of the process of becoming more attractive is to spend as much time becoming lighter/less resistant as it is putting energy into adding value, over responding and investing in things. So, if you’re wondering how to create a stronger vacuum, become less resistant/more superconductive. Getting needs met, building a reserve, surrendering to truth as it occurs to you, letting go of rigid beliefs/assumptions/dogma, taking the path of least resistance, eliminating tolerations, fixing your integrity, etc. are all ways to streamline and thus be naturally more conductive. When you remove the barnacles from the hull of a ship, it naturally moves through the water faster, with no extra power needed.
3. A vision is better than a goal as a way to be pulled forward.
When you identify a goal, you usually use the goal as a beacon to strive for, as a source of motivation, as something to orient yourself around, etc. The problem with goals is that they get you focused on propelling yourself toward them. And, while, nothing is wrong with this, it’s usually expensive for several reasons. One, you are focusing on the future which is usually limiting. Two, you are measuring your progress via an external reference which takes you outside of you and subject to the measures of others. Three, goals are usually based on wants or needs, which themselves often give you ideas for silly goals, which is why folks have a hard time identifying goals that are consistently meaningful. When you have a vision, however, you are released to focus 99% on the present because the future is already clear to you — you’re not having to create the future. A vision, by my definition, is simply an extrapolation of what is already occurring in the present. It’s present-based not future-based. It’s not something to acquire/achieve, because it’s probably going to happen anyway, given enough time. So, what good is a vision if it’s going to happen anyway? It simply provides a non-ego, non-performance-based focus which provides context and meaning as you focus 99% on responding to the present.
4. Put yourself into situations which evoke from you.
You can either push yourself to start or complete a project, or you can put yourself in an environment that will pull you forward or pull it out of you. Whenever I get stuck, I usually host a conference call on the subject and within an hour, I’m unstuck. I create situations which solve the problems FOR me, instead of making myself push through problems. I know, it’s the easy way out, but THAT’S the point! If it’s ultra low-cost (emotionally/financially), it’s probably attractive. Other examples of this point would be joining a training program, taking on a project, writing a book, joining a company that you know would bring you to the next level, signing up for a marathon, etc. USE situations to your advantage; whenever you find yourself struggling with something, find a new or different situation/group/environment to evoke. It usually works extremely well.
5. Put yourself among friends and colleagues who bring out your best.
You can use willpower or self-reliance to always perform well, or you can surround yourself with people who always perform at their best. This is similar to #4 above, but it’s different in that people are the ‘who’ whereas situations are the ‘what.’ People provide the support you need emotionally. I rely on my personal network to both motivate and acknowledge me. The trick is to select ONLY folks who do this naturally and in a positive fashion. If a friend or colleague seems to bring out your worst or slow down your progression, find out why and make the necessary changes.
6. Say things which occur to you, even if they are not yet true.
In 1989, I remember casually and unthinkingly remarking to a reporter for the San Francisco Chronicle that I felt that goals were overrated and unnecessary. At the time I said it, I actually felt that goals were pretty darn important and I was even teaching a course called Life by Design, where goals were an essential part of the process of life design. And, of course, the reporter made mince meat of my little remark. Ouch. Yet, 6 years later in 1995, I started seeing that goals weren’t all they were cracked up to be and that attraction was more interesting/effective than goal setting was anyway. The point here is that chance remarks, Freudian slips, errors, and other non-planned ‘truths’ may well be true, but that your mind is just catching up to them. While I can’t prove the making that chance remark led directly to the development of the Attraction OS, I can say that there is probably a connection of some sort. In other words, I was left in the inquiry of “Hmm, if goals WERE in fact not the best way to accomplish stuff, what WOULD be a better way?” The gap created a vacuum, which may well have pulled my thinking forward, without me putting any energy into it. So, take yourself seriously when you say stuff that seems to be the opposite of what you meant or know to be true. There’s a vacuum in there somewhere!
7. Deliberately create a conflict out of which can come a synthesis.
Point + counterpoint can = synthesis.
Ease + Problem = Vacuum
Deliberately cause a problem or conflict, just for the opportunity to create a synthesis? Well, almost. Remember, the objective is to create a vacuum that will pull you forward. One of the odd but viable ways to create a vacuum is to create a problem for yourself.
Examples: Make a promise that will be hard to pull off. Change your mind about something and deal with the consequences. Call somebody up and let ’em have it. Give out an ultimatum to somebody who is frustrating you. Start behaving the opposite of how you have been behaving. Surrender to a whim. The idea here is to swing the pendulum, even if you go too far or if it goes in the wrong direction.
8. Mutate at will.
As the DNA helix in your body (and in plants, animals, etc.) divides/splits and recombines millions of times, ‘mistakes’ occur, meaning that it doesn’t perfectly match up upon recombining. This creates what’s called a mutation and, of course, mutation and natural selection are the basis of the theory of evolution. The same is true with thoughts and ideas (which are called memes, instead of genes). One might even say that Truth itself is evolving. Of course, everything is evolving — law, business theory, philosophy, science, marketing; everything. So, theoretically, the more something mutates, the greater chance it has to create a competitive advantage, making it (you, the idea/meme) more attractive, because some of the mutations will be improvements. Experimentation, and the freedom to experiment, are the basis of R&D departments. And R&D leads to more products or product variations — more mutations, if you will. So, one of the ways to become more attractive is to experiment more (with yourself, others, ideas, words, products, life, companies, situations, feelings, etc.), given the odds are that at least one of your experiments will turn into real progress for you, thus making you more attractive, either to yourself or to the marketplace. And, to have the freedom to experiment frequently, you’ll need some sort of reserve. Reserve affords you the time/energy to take risks, and can reimburse you/others for your mistakes. Experimentation (thus mutation) directly leads to attraction.
9. Unhook yourself from who you were; this will let you be pulled forward.
Many of my clients are quick to describe their skills, talents and successes, because they do have many of these! So far, nothing’s wrong. But the tendency is also to define yourself by your skills/talents/accomplishments or to at least be reassured by them, which leads to two things: complacency and ego. Complacency in that you don’t feel the need to experiment/advance as much. And ego in that you begin to identify yourself by what you’re good at. Neither complacency nor ego are bad; in fact, they’re good. However, they do begin to act as tether instead of just a foundation. I used to think that I was a really good communicator and masterful at articulating ideas, thoughts and distinctions. So much so, that I let myself perform like a seal to anyone who would stop by. I’d get praise for ‘how good I was’ and I started to not only believe it, but have it be reassuring to me. It was a trap because I stopped learning/advancing in this skill area. I now regard myself as an acceptable communicator and coach but feel that I am only at the 30% level, not the 90% level I felt I was surely at. And I wasn’t bitten by the humble bug, either. I simply unhooked myself from my own self-definition. Since then, I’ve been progressing very nicely! Although, making ‘progress’ can become a real trap as well. But let’s save that for another Top 10 List. The point here is to stop thinking that you’re really good at something – or at least stop saying that you are, even if you are. It will slow down your development.
10. Tell the newly discovered Truth about something, even if you can’t see a way to implement/honor this Truth.
Every day, something new is occurring to you. Your awareness is increasing, you are coming to better understand yourself and your needs, and you are getting smarter about life. But sometimes, something big will dawn on you that seems to be very, very true, yet you can’t figure out how to change your life enough to honor what you just discovered or noticed that’s true. So, you either disregard it, you panic and become paralyzed, or you dilute the truth by justifying your current life. Ah, but there IS a better way. And, that’s just to TELL the Truth about a situation, your life, yourself, other person, etc., even if you CANNOT change yourself or the situation in the foreseeable future. The idea is to communicate the truth to someone (instead of just thinking it). When it leaves your lips, it becomes something you CAN do something about. A Truth spoken creates a vacuum for you. It’s THAT easy.
Copyright 1997 by Thomas Leonard and 2006 by CoachVille LLC. All rights reserved. The Attraction Principles Program from CoachVille LLC.
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